Grand Theft Starship

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I was thinking of the old Constitution-class starships and their fates (particularly that unfortunate period in TOS' late second/early third seasons when three of the twelve were destroyed, one suffered a complete crew casualty, and two more were severely damaged), when another statistical quirk jumped out at me: considering that it's Starfleet's flagship, a vessel that one would expect to be at least as secure as the present-day carrier for which it is named (not least because of the damage it could do in the wrong hands) ... the Enterprise sure got stolen a lot.


The first incident was when the Enterprise was forcibly taken in tow by the First Federation vessel Fesarius on stardate 1512. The next, and the most meticulously planned, was Mr. Spock's "borrowing" of the ship to deliver his former Captain to the forbidden world Talos IV (3012-3013). The Enterprise was also hijacked, comandeered, or otherwise diverted by: Khan and his followers (3142); the android Norman (4513); a stranded party of advance scouts from Andromeda (4657); the M-5 computer (4729); a group of children under the malign influence of an entity claiming to be an angel (5029); a man driven insane by exposure to a Medusan (5630); a powerful but non-communicative energy being which wanted to turn the ship into an intergalactic Flying Dutchman, or perhaps a twisted Valhalla (stardate unknown); an alien law enforcement agent (5730); and a band of space hippies (5832).


Eleven times in three years. Maybe they should have used The Club™.

Comments

[gwyd.livejournal.com]

...Not to mention the seat belts, the need for a simple external plug that would let them manually cut power to the holo deck, and suge protectors on the bridge.