Madness doesn't play
Mar. 10th, 2007 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cmdr_zoomAs an antidote to all of those happy fluffy Malkavians and Changelings, I give you the Elder Scrolls' god of madness, Sheogorath. The imminent expansion to Oblivion, Shivering Isles (call it TES IV.1) sends you into his domain.
In Oblivion itself, he's one of several gods you can do favors for in exchange for powerful artifacts. In his case, it's a staff called the Wabbajack - a "fun little toy" or "thing of mischief," depending on who you ask, which can randomly polymorph any creature or monster (but not person) into any other. This is mostly good for idle amusement and turning it in as a plot coupon at one of the stages of the main quest.
When you go to his shrine to take on the quest, here's what he says (in a voice from the air):
"Another mortal dares to summon me, and already I'm bored. But enough about me. Let's talk about you.
I could turn you into a goat! Or a puddle. Or a bad idea. I could make you eat your own fingers! Or fall in love with a cloud...
Perhaps I could make you into something useful. Let's find out.
There's a little settlement called Border Watch. It's a nice, peaceful place... and dull, dull, dull. You're going to make their lives interesting."
Off you go to Border Watch, a village of rather superstitious cat people, to make their prophecy of DOOOOM come true. This involves a plague of rats, sheep falling dead in the fields, and - for the climax - a rain of dogs. That are on fire. Really.
Upon your return to the shrine, Sheogorath is in high spirits. "Good times, good times!" He presents you with the Wabbajack, and then dismisses you: "Now... go away. Before I kill you."
Brrr.
In Oblivion itself, he's one of several gods you can do favors for in exchange for powerful artifacts. In his case, it's a staff called the Wabbajack - a "fun little toy" or "thing of mischief," depending on who you ask, which can randomly polymorph any creature or monster (but not person) into any other. This is mostly good for idle amusement and turning it in as a plot coupon at one of the stages of the main quest.
When you go to his shrine to take on the quest, here's what he says (in a voice from the air):
"Another mortal dares to summon me, and already I'm bored. But enough about me. Let's talk about you.
I could turn you into a goat! Or a puddle. Or a bad idea. I could make you eat your own fingers! Or fall in love with a cloud...
Perhaps I could make you into something useful. Let's find out.
There's a little settlement called Border Watch. It's a nice, peaceful place... and dull, dull, dull. You're going to make their lives interesting."
Off you go to Border Watch, a village of rather superstitious cat people, to make their prophecy of DOOOOM come true. This involves a plague of rats, sheep falling dead in the fields, and - for the climax - a rain of dogs. That are on fire. Really.
Upon your return to the shrine, Sheogorath is in high spirits. "Good times, good times!" He presents you with the Wabbajack, and then dismisses you: "Now... go away. Before I kill you."
Brrr.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-10 07:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-10 09:58 pm (UTC)(It's the same voice actor, in fact, but without the Joker-esque note of menacing giddiness.)