i will not obsess i will not obsess
Oct. 28th, 2009 09:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cmdr_zoomSo, frustrated by the failure of the other video card to work properly, I went on the local craigslist. Two good cheap cards in the $15 range posted recently. Awesome. But the one that responded, though conveniently local, says that while his card is new-in-packaging, it's low-profile. That means it may require some fiddling with brackets (and if there isn't a standard-sized one in the package, which I can't open without voiding the warranty as it were, I have to cannibalize one from some other card, maybe) and hex screws (which I do not have a driver for - pliers time)?
Part of me reminds me that it's not meant to be more than a stopgap solution, that if it's a mistake it's only a $12 one, and that I'm committed to the purchase now if only out of courtesy. The other part ripostes that I could maybe find a better one if I took a day or two instead of Freaking Out and impulse buying (and still get it almost as fast, thanks to the internet), and that $12 could go to the purchase of a better card, and I can still back out.
aaaand in typing all of this out, I've decided to back off, call the guy and apologize and cancel the deal. I was looking and hoping for a drop-in solution and this is not that. I can put off the childish voice whining "but the shiny" with the cold reminder that it might take days to retool the card (for which time, there would be no shiny anyway) and that I've lived without it this long, I can go another week or two. And I think I can soothe the tut-tutting Miss Manners by apologizing sincerely and profusely to the would-be seller (who I only just emailed last night, anyway - he hasn't been hanging that long).
I probably put too much emotional weight on, well, everything. And I have a tendency to either grab blindly for the short-term solution or obsess and dither and delay about getting everything "perfect" - sometimes both, as we see here.
EDIT: And done. "No problem," he said, probably caring/worrying a lot less about this than I have.
EDIT HARDER: And now, 1.5 hours later, I feel fine. No anxiety at all. Until the next time I have to make a decision...
EDIT III, the SEARCH FOR SHINY: Heh. I go to zipzoomfly to price some alternatives, and guess what /fortune happens to be at the top of the page?
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one. - Elbert Hubbard"
Yup, that's me all over.
Part of me reminds me that it's not meant to be more than a stopgap solution, that if it's a mistake it's only a $12 one, and that I'm committed to the purchase now if only out of courtesy. The other part ripostes that I could maybe find a better one if I took a day or two instead of Freaking Out and impulse buying (and still get it almost as fast, thanks to the internet), and that $12 could go to the purchase of a better card, and I can still back out.
aaaand in typing all of this out, I've decided to back off, call the guy and apologize and cancel the deal. I was looking and hoping for a drop-in solution and this is not that. I can put off the childish voice whining "but the shiny" with the cold reminder that it might take days to retool the card (for which time, there would be no shiny anyway) and that I've lived without it this long, I can go another week or two. And I think I can soothe the tut-tutting Miss Manners by apologizing sincerely and profusely to the would-be seller (who I only just emailed last night, anyway - he hasn't been hanging that long).
I probably put too much emotional weight on, well, everything. And I have a tendency to either grab blindly for the short-term solution or obsess and dither and delay about getting everything "perfect" - sometimes both, as we see here.
EDIT: And done. "No problem," he said, probably caring/worrying a lot less about this than I have.
EDIT HARDER: And now, 1.5 hours later, I feel fine. No anxiety at all. Until the next time I have to make a decision...
EDIT III, the SEARCH FOR SHINY: Heh. I go to zipzoomfly to price some alternatives, and guess what /fortune happens to be at the top of the page?
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one. - Elbert Hubbard"
Yup, that's me all over.
